Category Archives: (A)Musings

What is the most elegant thing you’ve ever done?

…I sat down and wrote my mother a thank you note when she died.

…I keep my composure in times of great strife.

…Spayed/neutered cats in our neighborhood for families that couldn’t afford to.

…I would like to remind everyone that you are all elegant and beautiful. And people love you, even if you don’t know or believe it. This is the most elegant thing I will ever do.

…I bought a photo book called “Kisses” and replaced all the photos and poems with personal ones from my lover’s and my escapades. It was my gift to her.

…I sang a song in front of a crowd for my fiancee-to-be. Her ring in a box around my neck.

…The most elegant thing I’ve ever done or will ever do is give birth to my beautiful little girl.

…I walked around with pearl earrings at the age of three.

…I helped my mother die well.

…I made a beautiful six-course, candlelit dinner for my husband’s boss. At the last minute, before the main course, our German Shephed lept onto the kitchen counter and devoured the standing rib roast.

…Sometimes my husband and I dress up as if we’re going to the Oscars, and have dinner together at home.

…When I clean the house I dance instead of walking. And I pretend I’m being filmed.

…Sometimes, when I’m alone, I pretend I’m a 100 years old… and beautiful. And I feel elegant.

…I make up the most elaborate, fantastical lies about my life to people I meet for the first time. And if I continue knowing these people I have to be able to keep my various stories straight. I’ve not been caught yet. There is an elegance in that, I think, regardless of why I do it.

…I read in the park.

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This time of year makes me feel…

…glad that another year is past.

…hopeful. Autumn is around the corner.

…like I should be in New York.

…blessed to be with someone who amazes me.

…excited for new beginnings, fresh adventures.

…like the possibilities really are endless.

…renewed.

…like having picnics outside all the time, with friends, gelato and white wine!

…in love. With everything.

…like every moment not spent in a bikini is a moment wasted.

…like it’s all over, man.

…like it’s time to let go.

…nostalgia for the Berkshire Hills.

…anxious and wistful.

…grateful for change.

…like buying #2 pencils.

…too old.

…like breaking out of myself and… doing something!

 

Thanks to those who share.

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No time for buttons

We asked the good people who pass through these parts, which, if any, fictional characters they lust after. It’s summer and people seem happy enough to reveal their passions. 

Here’s what we found:

Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy was, by turns, the “obvious”, “duh”, “well of course” choice of seven (7) of the thirty people who shared their objects of desire with us. Are you surprised?

Five people chose Holden Caulfield. See a pattern? Or do you need more than two to make a pattern? Okay.

Four people want Edward Cullen. No, “I mean really want.” See a pattern, now?

Howard Roark. Two people chose him. Have you watched this? I rest my case.

And then there were:

Ron Weasly

Lady Macbeth

Sir Percy Blakeney

Lena Duchannes

Heathcliff, anyone?

Willy Wonka

Mr. Rochester

Atticus Finch

Robbie Turner

Edmond Dantes

King Alobar

and, much to my own personal shock and delight,

Remedios the Beauty

Please see below:

“Actually, Remedios the Beauty was not a creature of this world. Until she was well along in puberty Santa Sofia de la Piedad had to bathe and dress her, and even when she could take care of herself it was necessary to keep an eye on her so that she would not paint little animals on the walls with a stick daubed in her own excrement. She reached twenty without knowing how to read or write, unable to use the silver at the table, wandering naked through the house because her nature rejected all manner of convention.”

***

“Until her last moment on earth she was unaware that her irreparable fate as a disturbing woman was a daily disaster. Every time she appeared in the dining room, against Ursula’s orders, she caused a panic of exasperation among the outsiders… What no member of the family ever knew was that the strangers did not take long to realize that Remedios the Beauty gave off a breath of perturbation, a tormenting breeze that was still perceptible several hours after she passed by… On the porch with the begonias, in the parlor, in any place in the house, it was possible to point out the exact place where she had been and the time that had passed since she had left it.”

***

“She had just finished saying it when Fernanda felt a delicate wind of light pull the sheets out of her hands and open them up wide. Amaranta felt a mysterious trembling in the lace on her petticoats and she tried to grasp the sheet so that she would not fall down at the instant in which Remedios the Beauty began to rise. Ursula, almost blind at the time, was the only person who was sufficiently calm to identify the nature of that determined wind and she left the sheets to the mercy of the light as she watched Remedios the Beauty waving good-bye in the midst of the flapping sheets that rose up with her, abandoning with her the environment of beetles and dahlias and passing through the air with her as four o’clock in the afternoon came to an end, and they were lost forever with her in the upper atmosphere where not even the highest-flying birds of memory could reach her.”*

If I were an alien who came down to your planet today (to take over) and discovered that you people lust after collections of words that you deem “characters”, I might be puzzled. And then when I figured out what lust is, I’d probably just pick up and leave. Because if people in books are people to you, well, let’s just say we’d be outnumbered.


*Excerpts from “One Hundred Years of Solitude”, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

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My Grandmother taught me…

…how to stuff an artichoke like a real Sicilian.

…to not marry a doctor… but become one.

…that most people look better naked.

…tenderness, love and how to eat cherry pie.

…to just be me.

…that older women can be beautiful, elegant, and can rock a pair of cat-eye sunglasses.

…that nothing is finer than a Carolina morning!

…to not be an anxiety-driven psycho.

…that you’ll attract more bees with honey than you will with vinegar.

…not to be common.

…that life is uncertain so I should always eat dessert first.

…to listen to what men say but watch which way their feet are going.

…to be a lady in the parlor and a whore in the bedroom.*

…that I look adorable when stuffing my face.

…that placing a damp paper towel over a bowl of lettuce keeps it fresh for days.

…how to draw a mouse.

…that “you’ve got the right clothes to get glad in”.

…to say it like it is.

…how to feed the chickens, shuck the fresh peas from the garden and pick lovely tiger lilies along the roadside.

…to “play the cards!”

…not to put all  my eggs in one basket.

…that I am who I am.

…how to add.

Thank you for sharing with us.

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The most important thing I learned in kindergarten was…

…that when you swallow a penny it comes out of you the next day.

…that if you can’t play nice it’s not play.

…that I had a wild imagination.

…how to restrain myself from teasing girls.

…to be kind.

…i leerned how too spell.

…HOW TO WAIT MY TURN!

…that when I became an adult I too would think  that celery and peanut butter go together well.

…how to tie  my shoes.

…to always take a nap before I could have lemonade and cookies.

…that I preferred the company of adults.

…that I would marry Taeyeon Won.

…that Mommy would come back.

…to not bite the boys… in front of teachers.

…that ants are edible.

…that holding someone’s hand gives you the best feeling in the world.

…potty training. Really appreciate that lesson.

…how to read, how to add, how to ask for things.

…that boys were cute and I liked them a lot.

…that people like you more if you’re happy all the time.

Thank you to our customers for playing along.

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When no one is looking, I pretend…

People really seem to love our (A)Musings board. A customer, after answering this week’s prompt anonymously, said to me a few days ago how she wishes she had one at home. So she could actually communicate. Rather than ponder the tragedy of this, she and I chose to look at the bright side.

Some answers are very silly… and some aren’t.

***

WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING, I PRETEND…

… to be in conversation with God.

… that this day really is special and I really can do anything I want.

… that what I’m eating has no calories.

… that I’m James Bond.

… Are you kidding? I make everyone look.

… I’m singing in front of thousands of people. And they love me.

… I’m alive.

… I still have the baby I gave away. My baby.

… that I am you.

… I’m British.

… I’m under water. And  I can breathe. And I can stay here forever.

… I’m a conductor. And it all makes sense.

… I’m five years old. Playing with blocks. Happy.

… that I am a woman.

… I don’t pretend. I dance everywhere.

… that I am the version of myself that I always dreamed I’d be.

… I’m Baryshnikov.

… that someone is secretly watching me. Spying on me. I pretend not to notice so they can keep watching.

… I’m pregnant. I just walk around, pretending, with my hand on my belly.


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