Category Archives: (A)Musings

My Grandmother taught me…

…how to stuff an artichoke like a real Sicilian.

…to not marry a doctor… but become one.

…that most people look better naked.

…tenderness, love and how to eat cherry pie.

…to just be me.

…that older women can be beautiful, elegant, and can rock a pair of cat-eye sunglasses.

…that nothing is finer than a Carolina morning!

…to not be an anxiety-driven psycho.

…that you’ll attract more bees with honey than you will with vinegar.

…not to be common.

…that life is uncertain so I should always eat dessert first.

…to listen to what men say but watch which way their feet are going.

…to be a lady in the parlor and a whore in the bedroom.*

…that I look adorable when stuffing my face.

…that placing a damp paper towel over a bowl of lettuce keeps it fresh for days.

…how to draw a mouse.

…that “you’ve got the right clothes to get glad in”.

…to say it like it is.

…how to feed the chickens, shuck the fresh peas from the garden and pick lovely tiger lilies along the roadside.

…to “play the cards!”

…not to put all  my eggs in one basket.

…that I am who I am.

…how to add.

Thank you for sharing with us.

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The most important thing I learned in kindergarten was…

…that when you swallow a penny it comes out of you the next day.

…that if you can’t play nice it’s not play.

…that I had a wild imagination.

…how to restrain myself from teasing girls.

…to be kind.

…i leerned how too spell.

…HOW TO WAIT MY TURN!

…that when I became an adult I too would think  that celery and peanut butter go together well.

…how to tie  my shoes.

…to always take a nap before I could have lemonade and cookies.

…that I preferred the company of adults.

…that I would marry Taeyeon Won.

…that Mommy would come back.

…to not bite the boys… in front of teachers.

…that ants are edible.

…that holding someone’s hand gives you the best feeling in the world.

…potty training. Really appreciate that lesson.

…how to read, how to add, how to ask for things.

…that boys were cute and I liked them a lot.

…that people like you more if you’re happy all the time.

Thank you to our customers for playing along.

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When no one is looking, I pretend…

People really seem to love our (A)Musings board. A customer, after answering this week’s prompt anonymously, said to me a few days ago how she wishes she had one at home. So she could actually communicate. Rather than ponder the tragedy of this, she and I chose to look at the bright side.

Some answers are very silly… and some aren’t.

***

WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING, I PRETEND…

… to be in conversation with God.

… that this day really is special and I really can do anything I want.

… that what I’m eating has no calories.

… that I’m James Bond.

… Are you kidding? I make everyone look.

… I’m singing in front of thousands of people. And they love me.

… I’m alive.

… I still have the baby I gave away. My baby.

… that I am you.

… I’m British.

… I’m under water. And  I can breathe. And I can stay here forever.

… I’m a conductor. And it all makes sense.

… I’m five years old. Playing with blocks. Happy.

… that I am a woman.

… I don’t pretend. I dance everywhere.

… that I am the version of myself that I always dreamed I’d be.

… I’m Baryshnikov.

… that someone is secretly watching me. Spying on me. I pretend not to notice so they can keep watching.

… I’m pregnant. I just walk around, pretending, with my hand on my belly.


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